Photo by GC Smith

A Seafood Boil
first published by Southern Hum, September 2005

You, my frien,’ you got straw hat fo’ to keep da sun away. Dat ain’ too dumb. ‘Specially you gonna sit out in dat little boat all the day. I’s a waitin’ back here on da shore for you to come in wit the fish and da crab. Den we pluck fresh onions and corn and ‘taters from da garden and we cook us a boil. I can smell dem spices a roilin’ in da pot already. An’ dat slice smoke sausage. Mouth waterin’ tinkin’ ’bout them crabs and dat string o’ fish you gonna bring back from da sea. Sun getting low in da sky now and shadow grow long. It now time for you to get on back here, pull da boat up on the sand, and drink a cold beer or three wit me while we wait for the cookin’ to be done. Crank up yo liddle outboard ‘n get on back here now. We have us a party.

A Frogmore Stew

I can make a Frogmore stew,
o’ course, ’cause I know what ta do.

I gets me a new clean garbage can,
fill him half up with water an’
put him on da cooker for to boil.

I trow in six-eight cuppa Old Bay spice, tree pound
a creamy butta, an’ five pound smoked sausage.

Gotta get that boil to a roil, then toss in
ten pound of yellar onion an’
fifteen pound of redskin tater.

When dat water boil one more time,
I toss in two dozen ear o’ new picked corn.

Now I bring stew water to a boil again
an’ twenty pounds of headed shrimp goes in
the garbage can wit all dat other stuff.

Soon as da mess boil one more time
I pour off da liquid and serve da stew.

Course, I gotta trow steamed blue crab on top
and get dem long neck Bud offa da ice.
Now smack yer lips; doan tink twice.

Dig in. Enjoy.
bon appitit!

How to Make Frogmore Stew

A kitchen sized recipe uses:

A stainless steel or enamel cook pot (24 quart) filled half way with water.

About 3/4 cup of Old Bay* seasoning (or any shellfish boil seasoning) and a pound of butter. Bring to boil.

A bunch (5-7 lbs.) of redskin potatoes quartered and three lbs. of yellow onions quartered. Add three pounds of sliced smoked sausage (Hillshire Farms Brand is good, but there are many others). Let this stuff come back to a boil and cook until the potatoes are fork tender.

Six ears of sweet corn (I like Silver Queen, broken in halves). Bring back to a boil again.

Then five pounds of shrimp (in the shell) and reboil.

Pour off liquid and serve in big soup bowls.

Optional: Top each bowl with two or three steamed blue crabs.

* buy the Old Bay at Sam’s Club in the big container, it’s much cheaper that way.

About the Author:
GC Smith is a southerner. He writes novels, short stories, flash fiction, poetry. Sometimes he plays with dialect, either Cajun or Gullah-Geechee ways of speaking. Smith’s work can be found in: Gator Springs Gazette, F F Magazine, Iguanaland, Dead Mule School of Southern Literature, Naked Humorists, The GLUT, Flask Fiction Magazine, N.O.L.A. Spleen, NFG Magazine, Cellar Door, The Beat, Dispatches Magazine, , Beaufort Gazette, Coyote’s Den, Southern Hum, Lamoille Lamentations , Quiction, The Landing, The Haunted Poet. He has completed and is shopping a novel, WHITE LIGHTNING –Murder In the world of stock car racing.

Gastronomic Geographic by GC Smith

Hot Dog, cheese steak, hamburg,
corn bread, Cajun shrimp, red rice,
Manhattan and New England clam chowder,
pulled pork Bar-B-Que, beef brisket, baked beans

Feta cheese, hero, spanakopia, moussaka, dolmas
falafel, couscous, sheep’s eyeball, pita bread, garbanzo beans,
curried meats, tandoorai chicken, chutney, goat stew, tiger sauce,
baguette, Kaiser roll, cinnamon bun, rye and pumpernickle, tortillas

Chop suey, chow main, egg foo yong, wonton,
Sichuan chicken, pressed duck, twice cooked pork,
egg drop soup, sweet and sour, pork fried rice, egg roll,
crispy duck, Hunan beef, kung pao chicken, Mongolian fire pot

Spaghetti, manicotti, linguine, spicy meatball,
olive oil, anti-pasta, red sauce, mussels marinara,
minestrone, pasta-fazul, roasted peppers, clam sauce,
garlic bread, fettuccine, wedding soup, oregano, Jordan almonds

Paella, bouillabaisse, picadilla, saffron rice, wine in bota,
chateaubriand, cassolette, veal Francais, pate’ de fois grace,
taco, tamale, burrito, salsa, frijoles, fajita, quesadilla, sopapilla,
wiener schnitzel, sauerkraut, bratwurst, liver sausage, sauerbraten

Lots of other yummy stuff
is found in earth’s far corners, but
never anything that has been cooked
by the Brits, or the Scots, or the Irish

Bon Appetite

About the author:

GC Smith is a southerner. He writes novels, short stories, flash fiction, poetry. Sometimes he plays with dialect, either Cajun or Gullah-Geechee ways of speaking. Smith’s work can be found in: Gator Springs Gazette, F F Magazine, Iguanaland, Dead Mule School of Southern Literature, Naked Humorists, The GLUT, Flask Fiction Magazine, N.O.L.A. Spleen, NFG Magazine, Cellar Door, The Beat, Dispatches Magazine, , Beaufort Gazette, Coyote’s Den, Southern Hum, Lamoille Lamentations , Quiction, The Landing, The Haunted Poet. He has completed and is shopping a novel, WHITE LIGHTNING–Murder In the world of stock car racing.